Undeserved Regret
I’ll be honest, I wasn’t an outstanding child my parents had hoped I would be. I was no Albert Einstein of the century nor was I the Michael Phelps in any sports, and I certainly wasn’t a pimp. I didn’t seem to have any obvious talents or features and that was a real struggle that I deal with. Unable to satisfy their unreasonable demands, my parents decided that it’d be best to try and force distinctions and honors on to me. I wasn’t quite sure how to handle and deal with everything at the time so I just tried and kept to myself. “Do your job, stay out of trouble, and don’t say anything you’ll regret” was the basic rule of thumb. I wouldn’t say that I’m unsocial, but when you’re surrounded by over-energetic, garrulous, teenagers that love to spread gossip amongst one another, misunderstandings are common. I guess I didn’t take a liking to the drama filled high school environment; however I should add that I wasn’t always like this. Like many of my seniors have explained, middle school to high school changes are dramatic. Friends change, groups change, and before you know it there are “societies” formed around those varying and evolving interests. I fell victim to a misunderstanding that has left a dent in my ability to trust and to speak care-freely.
It all started around the end of 7th and beginning of 8th grade. This was the period of time where people grow up from being friendly with everyone and form their own group of friends. Almost everyone found a place to belong somewhere and I was “lucky” enough to be able to interact with one of the more “popular” groups. This time period also sprouted the idea of “relationships” with peers they develop feelings for. Looking back, many people including myself think “Middle school relationships? What a joke!”, but it’s completely different when you’re actually experiencing those interactions for the first time. Apparently it was a blast to gossip about one another, tease your friends, and feel the heart-racing thrill to flirt with the person you’re crushing on. And so the start of conflict and emotional turmoil among students begins.
I didn’t quite fully understand why people cared about what others thought of them at the time and I often pretended to care when others would talk about their social problems. I was one who always listened. Of course I always imagined myself to be a nice person. I tried to be the “nice guy” who listen to your problems, helped you out and did favors when you most needed it. At the time I assumed I was happy to be a part of a group; always having somebody to talk to and laugh with, but this eventually led to problems. In this kind of social society, not everyone is going to be one hundred percent satisfied and drama ensues. Unfortunately I was caught up in a major “cheating” scandal. It should be obvious that the average 13 year old boy would have commitment issues, but I regardless had to face public humiliation due to a friend’s questionable actions. It all started when the first relationships in school began to sprout. The endless teasing and jokes were obnoxious, but are apart of every school relationship. These two young students have found mutual interests and had the courage to be open about their commitment to teach other. I was happy for them and supported them however I could. There were those that were jealous and started bad mouthing and talking trash about others. All to ruin their reputation and to sadistically enjoy their suffering. Classmates were scary and some of them still are. In my case, a group of scheming boys decided it would be fun to stir the emotions of my friend’s first girlfriend and ruin his reputation. Knowing that his name and reputation rests on my hands was a serious burden and I didn’t like the drama I had to deal along with it. Being “Friend A” and the only one the girlfriend trusts to ask you “Does he really like me?” is really stressful. Trying to clear up any bad rumors is extremely difficult as there were a ton of misunderstandings. I was even put to shame because of misunderstandings. “Why are you lieing? You said he didn’t like me!” was one of the main arguments. It was all a big storm of hate and jealousy and I decided that I had enough of this childish quarrel. I stopped caring about what others thought and stayed neutral up till the very end. Eventually the case resolved itself and the community of students found something else to gossip about.
Many people do not deserve the problems that they have to put up with and should learn that it’s not important what peers think of them. Of course having a reliable group of friends that you know will not turn against you is reassuring, but those are not easy to come by. As Michael Bassey Johnson says “True friends are those who came into your life, saw the most negative part of you, but are not ready to leave you, no matter how contagious you are to them.”
I’ll be honest, I wasn’t an outstanding child my parents had hoped I would be. I was no Albert Einstein of the century nor was I the Michael Phelps in any sports, and I certainly wasn’t a pimp. I didn’t seem to have any obvious talents or features and that was a real struggle that I deal with. Unable to satisfy their unreasonable demands, my parents decided that it’d be best to try and force distinctions and honors on to me. I wasn’t quite sure how to handle and deal with everything at the time so I just tried and kept to myself. “Do your job, stay out of trouble, and don’t say anything you’ll regret” was the basic rule of thumb. I wouldn’t say that I’m unsocial, but when you’re surrounded by over-energetic, garrulous, teenagers that love to spread gossip amongst one another, misunderstandings are common. I guess I didn’t take a liking to the drama filled high school environment; however I should add that I wasn’t always like this. Like many of my seniors have explained, middle school to high school changes are dramatic. Friends change, groups change, and before you know it there are “societies” formed around those varying and evolving interests. I fell victim to a misunderstanding that has left a dent in my ability to trust and to speak care-freely.
It all started around the end of 7th and beginning of 8th grade. This was the period of time where people grow up from being friendly with everyone and form their own group of friends. Almost everyone found a place to belong somewhere and I was “lucky” enough to be able to interact with one of the more “popular” groups. This time period also sprouted the idea of “relationships” with peers they develop feelings for. Looking back, many people including myself think “Middle school relationships? What a joke!”, but it’s completely different when you’re actually experiencing those interactions for the first time. Apparently it was a blast to gossip about one another, tease your friends, and feel the heart-racing thrill to flirt with the person you’re crushing on. And so the start of conflict and emotional turmoil among students begins.
I didn’t quite fully understand why people cared about what others thought of them at the time and I often pretended to care when others would talk about their social problems. I was one who always listened. Of course I always imagined myself to be a nice person. I tried to be the “nice guy” who listen to your problems, helped you out and did favors when you most needed it. At the time I assumed I was happy to be a part of a group; always having somebody to talk to and laugh with, but this eventually led to problems. In this kind of social society, not everyone is going to be one hundred percent satisfied and drama ensues. Unfortunately I was caught up in a major “cheating” scandal. It should be obvious that the average 13 year old boy would have commitment issues, but I regardless had to face public humiliation due to a friend’s questionable actions. It all started when the first relationships in school began to sprout. The endless teasing and jokes were obnoxious, but are apart of every school relationship. These two young students have found mutual interests and had the courage to be open about their commitment to teach other. I was happy for them and supported them however I could. There were those that were jealous and started bad mouthing and talking trash about others. All to ruin their reputation and to sadistically enjoy their suffering. Classmates were scary and some of them still are. In my case, a group of scheming boys decided it would be fun to stir the emotions of my friend’s first girlfriend and ruin his reputation. Knowing that his name and reputation rests on my hands was a serious burden and I didn’t like the drama I had to deal along with it. Being “Friend A” and the only one the girlfriend trusts to ask you “Does he really like me?” is really stressful. Trying to clear up any bad rumors is extremely difficult as there were a ton of misunderstandings. I was even put to shame because of misunderstandings. “Why are you lieing? You said he didn’t like me!” was one of the main arguments. It was all a big storm of hate and jealousy and I decided that I had enough of this childish quarrel. I stopped caring about what others thought and stayed neutral up till the very end. Eventually the case resolved itself and the community of students found something else to gossip about.
Many people do not deserve the problems that they have to put up with and should learn that it’s not important what peers think of them. Of course having a reliable group of friends that you know will not turn against you is reassuring, but those are not easy to come by. As Michael Bassey Johnson says “True friends are those who came into your life, saw the most negative part of you, but are not ready to leave you, no matter how contagious you are to them.”